Dealing with Egos
Have you ever heard the name Charlie Plumb. I am guessing that you haven't. Or if you have, its because I have talked about him before. You see when I was doing research for Forged Humans I came across Mr Plumb and his story. His story and the story of all of the soldiers with him is remarkable. In fact it is so remarkable that it became a foundational story for how I view mental and emotional stress.
Charlie was a pilot is Vietnam. He was a great pilot, but even great pilots get shot down and he spent 6 years in a POW camp. There are many lessons to be learned from this camp which they named the "Hanoi Hilton" but I would like to focus on one.
While they were imprisoned and tortured naturally they would have resentment or hatred for the Vietnamese that were holding them captive. But they actually felt sorry for them. You see that while the Americans were physical prisoners the Vietnamese were prisoners of the mind.
The Vietnamese people had be mentally imprisoned from the time they were little children. Its a prison with no walls but one to which few can escape. What the Americans realized was to be a prisoner of the mind is a much worse fate than being a physical prisoner.
Ok, so what does this have to do with ego?
I recently had to work with someone who has a large ego. He was constantly getting angry and emotional over things that the rest of the team wasn't bothered by at all. At first I was tempted to be frustrated with him. He was making my job harder and for no legitimate reason. Then I recognized that it was his ego getting in the way. If anything challenged his idea of himself he would loose it.
The ego is tricky because the person who is being controlled by it thinks they look tough. But to the rest of the people they look weak and insecure. What I realized was that he was a prisoner to his ego and while he was make my life harder I actually felt sorry for him.
You see ego controls your mind, when it is challenged it is all you can think about. It dictates your emotions, when it is challenged your anger and resentment come boiling to the surface. But people who can control their ego have a free mind and they drive their own emotions.
Do you have your own ego in check?
Once you can check your ego you will see all of the other people as prisoners to theirs. Your anger wont rise to meet theirs but you will be able to deal with them in a kind and controlled manner.
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