People need to be able to see themselves from the outside. They may think they are doing amazing, but others are perceiving them as an ogre who walks around and smashes things. Managers need to be able to give tough feedback. They need to set the expectations and let the people they manage know when they are not meeting those expectations.
While it's important to give feedback, this is about how to receive feedback. Creating environments where you can get people to be honest is a skill. You need to working on getting feedback about everything.
Feedback should be your drug.
Now, that doesn't mean all feedback is good. But the fact that you got the person to give you feedback is a win. You can always filter the feedback later. But it's a win that you were able to get it in the first place.
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. - Neil Gaiman
Trust people but also trust your own judgement.
How to Ask for Feedback
Feedback is very important but you have to know how to ask for feedback to get good feedback.
“Do you have any feedback for me?” seems like a good way to get feedback but as you will see it is probably the worst way to get good feedback.
The following are some thoughts on how to ask for feedback in a way that can get past peoples natural hesitancy to be critical and find some deeper insight.
People dont like to give straight up negative feedback, even if they think it. So the best requests for feedback allow people to give a praise while then revealing what isn’t working for them.
For example if you were getting feedback about a article asking the following would be too open ended to give value, “What did you think about the article? Is there anything I should change?”
Instead you could ask, “If you were going to cut 20% of the article to give the reader focus on the best parts what would you cut?”
This couches the feedback in a way that allows them to give credit to the best parts will giving you the valuable info you need. Its important not to tell them what you think the best part is. They may choose to cut the opposite of what you were thinking, so leave that up to them.
Feedback about Yourself
What is one area you think I really excel at but you think I still have room to grow in?
If I needed to cut time to focus on something what’s one thing you see me do that I should cut?
What things would you like to delegate to me but are not comfortable with yet?
Feedback about a Presentation
Was there any point in the presentation where you felt lost?
If you were forced to remove 20% of the presentation which would it be?
If you could only keep 20% of the presentation what would it be?
Did you pick up your phone or check slack during the presentation? At what part?
Team Feedback
What was the most exciting project you did over the last week?
What was the least exciting task you worked on?
If we had to stop one meeting what would it be?
What percentage of your week were you working on planned work?
Wrap it up
Getting better at eliciting feedback takes practice. I learned a lot of these tips from a book about game design. Getting feedback is a critical part in designing a game that is fun. I is also a critical part of your growth.
Try some of these questions or try to come up with your own. The key is to frame the feedback such that it allows them to give a compliment while also forcing them to give you feedback about what’s not working for them.
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