The humans at your company are the greatest asset your company has. Software exists for people and it is built by people. So many developers, myself included, come into the profession because we are good at one thing, avoiding people. Unfortunately avoiding people doesn’t work when you get into leadership, because leadership is about people.
One of the latest buzz words to come out of the psychology world is "Emotional Intelligence". I will admit that I have to work at emotional intelligence. It does not come naturally. However, I have two people in particular who I know are naturals. My wife, and my friend Christian. Here is how I know:
At my work we had to take a personality test. Each personality type was represented by a color: Blue, Green, Red and Yellow. No person was completely one color but they had a primary color and then a ranking of the other colors. I went home after work and giving her as much information as I have just given here asked her to tell me my 4 colors. She got them 100% correct. She didn’t even need to know what the colors meant. Now you may say that is luck. So a year later I asked her again. I had forgotten the colors myself and even guessed my own wrong. But again she named them off. She knows people, she can read a room. It just is easy for her.
Another friend of mine succeeds at business where ever he goes and when he shows up he is the life of the party. I called him one night and he had just finished watching a rom com. I would never watch a rom com by myself so I asked him what the heck he was doing. He confessed that he liked to study people and that movies like this were just that, and exposition on human interaction. That is when it clicked. He is successful because he gets people and knows how to make it work for him.
This brings me to one of the most valuable soft skills you can develop as a leader is tactical empathy. This concept comes from Chris Voss in his book, "Never Split the Difference". Tactical empathy is simply understanding the other person. You don't have to agree, you just have to understand. I have found this super helpful to think about with respect to your boss.
If I can understand your boss and what they need, then it is easy for you to provide it and make their life extremely easy. It is also important as a boss. You just came from the developer role, don't forget what it is like to be in their shoes. And if you can put yourself in their shoes, you will see how your leadership is impacting them.
You will find that people are not as complicated as you think. You just need to actually study them. Learn what motivates people and what doesn’t. Get in their heads and see what makes them tick. If you want to go into leadership this is going to have to be something you get comfortable with.
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